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I’m done with the pseudonym.

Posted on May 17, 2012 with 3 Responses

Obviously I haven’t been on here in awhile, and I apologize for my sporadic and seemingly nonsensical blogging. You also may have noticed that I deleted about half my blogs, because upon reading them I felt a considerable urge to turn back time and slap past-me.

Upon returning back, I found that 85% of the people I cared about in the design world have left. To all of those people: I’m sorry I disappeared for so long, and I want you to know that I didn’t just suddenly forget my friends. Sometimes it just takes a break for me to remember why I love and perhaps even need this blog. Again, a large thank you to Nancy for putting up with my disappearing/reappearing act. This time, I’m here to stay, I promise.

In more related news, I would like to make a bit of a stark change around Of Blue. Until now I have gone by the pseudonym of Austen. This is because I wanted to keep people I knew off-of-the-internet (family, high school friends, etc.) from finding my website, so that I could show my true emotions and feelings. Throughout this long break that I’ve been taking, I decided that I was sick of the pseudonym, and I don’t really care if anyone I know off-of-the-internet finds this website because I don’t really care about people I know off-of-the-internet anymore. But that’s a whole ‘nother story for a whole ‘nother blog in the future.

Anyways, as long as we’ve got it cleared up that I am no longer going by the pseudonym Austen, but that I used to (and thus old comments & blogs that I have made will use that name), you may all call me Allie. A boring name, I know, but it’s the one I was given so I make do with it.

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I Can’t Believe English Is My First Language

Posted on October 3, 2011 with 7 Responses

Have you ever had that awful feeling that no matter what you say, nobody understands? Like your thoughts are broken by the barrier of language? Had days of frustration trying to express these thoughts that poison your mind? Well, I’ve had just about a month of that–which is perhaps why I’ve been ignoring one of the few things that makes me feel better, this website. Sorry about that.

I’m finally feeling pretty significantly better from my 2 month illness, which is absolutely awesome–even though the doctors aren’t entirely sure they figured out what was wrong (but they can almost 100% guarantee that it’s not going to come back). Because I’ve been feeling better I’ve been able to get out and do things, but they usually exhaust me a lot more than they normally would, since I’m still just getting better. That’s the one thing my parents seem to not understand. Even if I’ve had an extremely active few days, they’ve been yelling at me lately to “get off my bum” and do things. And it’s not like chores or responsibilities, but rather menial tasks that are directly associated with “getting me better” (IE going for a 3 mile walk).

And that is where my speech frustration comes in. I suppose you could say that I was born with speech troubles, I got a late ankyloglossia procedure, which is basically just cutting the string on the bottom of your tongue, because mine was attached to the tip rather than the center of the tongue (thus rendering it immobile). I was in speech for seven years, and still stutter over some pretty funny words. That is not, however, what I’ve been experiencing for the past couple weeks. Instead of not being able to speak clear words I have not been able to speak clear sentences, or at least not sentences that get across what I am thinking. It’s as if I have these thoughts and emotions that I can’t even understand, and so trying to make my parents (or even boyfriend, who is usually exceptional at understanding me) is completely impossible.

From my (favorite) class in 11th grade, Theory of Knowledge, I learned about the barriers in language–that “happy” only has the connotation of that emotion because (more…)

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Why Gossip Is Necessary–or not.

Posted on September 16, 2011 with 10 Responses

Slander: The action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation.

Gossip: Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

 

Gossip is something that we all do–male or female–whether we admit to it or not. It’s a way of joining in with others. From a young age, it’s how we feel connected. The internet has caused this problem to explode–things that would be spread around a town in a matter of days now take minutes, and that gossip stretches past the borders of that town. We have all been a victim of gossip, we’ve all been a participant of gossip, and we all claim to loathe gossip. But somewhere deep in the root of humans, I believe we need it.

I heard an interview with a young woman named Hazel Namandingo who lives in Malawi. There, the rate of AIDS is second only to the rate of gossip. Hazel works with a psychologist who studies gossip world-wide, in the interest of seeing the way it makes humans connect. I’ve always thought of it as a disconnect, something that started little middle school “wars” ranging from dirty glances in the hallway to straight-on hair rippage. This psychologist, Susan Watkins, has been claiming that gossip is something that brings humans together. When forming gossip about others, we tend to create a bond. She believes it stems from the mammal tendency to share. Instead of sharing food or water, we’ve begun to share information: (more…)

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